Harbour Lights
by Annie M1
Summary: Summary: Tom's in a reflective mood. This story includes a mild reference to the season 7 episode


Title: Harbour Lights  
Author: Annie M  
Email: trekgirl@mushy.freeserve.co.uk  
Series: Voyager  
Rating: PG-13   
Code: P, P/T  
Part: 1/1  
  
Summary: Tom's in a reflective mood.   
  
Spoiler Alert: This story includes a mild reference to   
the season 7 episode "Drive."  
  
  
Many thanks to Voy and Der Spouse for their help in   
clarifying a few sailing terms. I know absolutely nothing   
about sailing so any errors that remain are all mine and   
not theirs. ;-)  
My thanks also to DangerMom for giving this her usual   
"gold star" beta treatment and to Tracy, for putting her   
oar in. ;-)   
  
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom etc owns the characters and   
by extension my obsession. The following is for   
therapeutic purposes only.  
  
  
Harbour Lights  
by Annie M  
  
  
Harbour lights twinkled somewhere in the far distance and   
I squinted into the settling darkness, trying to make out   
the ragged mountain peaks that loomed above them.   
  
The sun was setting and the weather was turning with it.   
I shrugged my shoulders against the cold and turned my   
vision to the bobbing waves beneath the boat. In the fast   
diminishing light the water looked black, almost inky,   
swirling around and lapping at the hull as the wind picked   
up a little.  
  
We'd dropped anchor here a couple of hours ago so we could  
swim and have lunch--in that order. Later on B'Elanna   
wanted to sun-bathe on the deck and as much as I like   
looking at her naked and glistening and totally exposed on   
a large beach towel, I'd had enough of sunburns for the   
time being so, after I'd oiled her up...thoroughly, I'd   
sat back in the shade at the stern, with only a view of   
her long legs to keep me company.  
  
I watched the waves for a long time, not even noticing   
when I couldn't see them anymore--where vision becomes   
only sound, so subtly, you have no idea the transition has   
been made until you think about it. I wasn't thinking   
about it.  
  
I wasn't really thinking at all; I was immersed in   
memories. I remembered the Admiral... my father... Dad   
taking us sailing in San Francisco harbour all those   
summers ago. I remembered how patient he was as he   
explained how to use the jib and the mainsail, how the   
keel keeps the boat stable in water... the correct way to   
tack into the wind. I remembered him laughing with us   
when Mom threatened to push him over the side.  
  
I'd been thinking about him a lot recently, I guess more   
so now because of our link to the Pathfinder array, and   
I'm not even trying to think about him; images just come.   
It's funny in a way too because those images haven't all   
been as unpleasant as I would have expected.  
  
I lick at my salty lips and wonder what happened to us.   
It's a stupid thought; I know what happened. I didn't   
want to be his puppet and he thought I'd never be anything   
else.  
  
That's kind of cold, Tommy.   
  
I remembered he used to read to me; encouraged my interest   
in flying; bragged about my precocious talent to his Fleet   
brass buddies--commanders, captains and admirals all.   
"You can do better, Tom," he'd say to me after every   
flight simulation. "You can always do better."  
  
Yeah. And I did.  
  
I close my eyes and turn away from the harbour lights in   
the distance. Resting my back against the port rail I   
look starboard  
instead and open my eyes to the darkness of the new night   
sky. A few stars peek out from above and I feel the   
rocking of the boat through my legs, the rhythmic rolling   
of water against the hull making me forget that this isn't   
real, that this is simply another holodeck program.  
  
"Hey."  
  
B'Elanna steps out of the darkness and wraps her arms   
around me, hugs me briefly, squeezing tight.   
  
"Aren't you cold?"  
  
I smile down at her, wrapped warmly in a thick sweater   
which seems to reach down to her knees. "I'm an old sea-  
dog," I answer quietly.  
  
B'Elanna moves in closer to me and starts rubbing at my   
arms, which are loosely encircling her waist. I like the   
friction of her hands against my bare skin but I know it's   
mostly for her own benefit rather than mine; she's   
shivering with every stroke.  
  
"Lets go down," I suggest. I take her hand and lead her   
down the short steps of the companion-way, locking it   
after us to keep the chill out, into the cabin which   
houses a mini-bar, radio equipment, a small stereo, a   
table with a couple of chairs and a bed--the kind with   
drawers built in underneath the base.  
  
We head for the bed and as B'Elanna slumps down against   
the mattress and busily gets to work on rubbing her arms   
and hands I kneel down and pull off her sneakers, rubbing   
some warmth vigorously into her cold soles through the   
thermal socks she's wearing.  
  
It's warmer down here but Bea's still feeling the chill.   
I offer to change the program and she thinks about it for   
a minute; shaking her head she offers me a crooked little   
smile, suggesting an alternative that will take far less   
time to accomplish.  
  
She's such a wonderful engineer.  
  
***  
  
We're a lot warmer now. B'Elanna's snuggled up against   
me, still in her socks, and she's put back on at least two   
of my tee-shirts over one of her own. Her short nails are   
making slow tracks over my belly, back and chest, and   
she's humming. It's a low contented sound almost like a   
purr, but it's not, it's just B'Elanna.  
  
I trace identical patterns across her back and down her   
spine, letting the tips of my fingers play against her   
skin--where I've managed to get them under her layers of   
warmth. I feel her soft breaths against my neck, the   
rhythm of her heartbeat against my chest; the smell of the   
ocean and the taste of the salt is in her hair and against   
her skin, as it is on mine.  
  
I drift off, knowing we have time here, so much time.  
  
***  
  
I wake up a little groggy. I think I was dreaming about   
my time in Voyager's Brig and that letter I wrote to my   
father, but the image doesn't last, not under the   
sensation of what B'Elanna's doing to me down there under   
the sheets.  
  
"You... cold... again?" I manage to ask against my own   
gasps of pleasure. B'Elanna chuckles something against my   
thighs then gets right back to work. God, this feels so   
good.  
  
She takes me to the edge and holds me there, brings me   
back down and pushes me to the pinnacle again... and   
again. I call her name and she takes me over, tasting me   
and loving me and wanting me....  
  
***  
  
I remember, when I was about fifteen or so, before I got   
ultra rebellious at home anyway, sneaking in from school.   
I'd wanted to grab my hiking boots and go walking in the   
hills with a couple of guys from the neighbourhood--Fleet   
brats like me. I knew Mom wouldn't let me, it being a   
school night and all plus exams coming up any day.  
  
So I sneaked in through the kitchen, keeping low and   
trying not to make a sound in case one of my sisters--who   
were always snooping around the house with guys--were   
around. Oh, the tales I could tell....  
  
I moved to the doorway and checked the hall before making   
a move for the stairs and that's when I saw them.  
  
I didn't think the Admiral would be home, I wasn't even   
sure he was on the planet, as I'd heard he and Mom talking   
about a long haul trip into the Neutral Zone or something   
a few days before.  
  
Dad had his arms around Mom's waist and was looking down   
at her with such... I didn't know what that look was, I'd   
never seen it before on him, not that I could remember   
anyway. The way he was looking at her, the way they were   
looking at each other made me stop and catch my breath. I   
didn't recognise these people, I didn't know them at all.   
  
I didn't go hiking that night, I just sat on the steps of   
the back porch, watching the sun set and the stars coming   
out. Trying to reconcile what I'd seen with what I   
thought I knew. Something about that scene upset me and   
comforted me at the same time.   
  
I wondered now how I'd thought he could never be capable   
of such a thing... of such... tenderness.  
  
***  
  
I started the engines early this morning; we've decided to   
go further out and maybe go scuba diving later, the wind   
is too calm to go very far on the sails alone.  
  
I'm standing behind B'Elanna, helping her with the wheel.   
She may know a starship back to front but she has no idea   
how to steer a ship eight degrees north west. The sun's   
on our backs and I've programmed it to be another hot day,   
not too hot for my complexion's sake but it'll do for   
B'Elanna.  
  
B'Elanna leans back against me, taking one hand off the   
wheel to rub at my thigh. "You were talking in your   
sleep, you know."   
  
"I was?"  
  
"Yeah." She gives my leg another caress and re-takes the   
wheel. She doesn't say anything else.  
  
I watch the sky and the horizon meet in the distance.  
  
"It was my father's birthday yesterday."  
  
My new wife doesn't turn into me, or offer up any words of   
comfort or chastisement--over having to share part of her   
honeymoon with a man I've spent most of my adult life   
trying to impress or forget--but she does let go of the   
wheel fully and reaches behind me with both arms, drawing   
me closer to her in an awkward embrace.  
  
I lean into her and kiss the top of her head, resting my   
chin there. I check our course and steady the wheel. I   
watch the sky meet the horizon in the distance, taste the   
salt on my lips... and I remember.  
  
  
End.  



End file.
